Friday, April 4, 2008

Meet Russ: MacBachelor Of The Week

Each week, our reporters scour Apple Stores across the country in search of the most eligible MacBachelors. This week, we present Russ, found on a Genius Barstool in the Chestnut Hill Mall (Chestnut Hill, MA). Just check out his specs:

Status: Single and totally available
Hardware: Great biceps, sculpted forearms
Software: Slight tummy roll
Periperals & Accessories: Black rimmed glasses, Toyota Prius
Results of Virus Scan: Clean as a whistle

As always, please feel free to leave a comment to let our MacBachelor Of The Week know why you think you are his match.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Apple Eugenics: Has Steve Jobs Gone Too Far?

Is Apple Computer founder Steve Jobs really trying to create a better world by inserting Macintosh code into the human gene pool? The jury is still out, but all signs are leading to one inescapable conclusion.

The first genetically modified iBaby showed up last year, bearing a distinctive apple-shaped birthmark. Since then, more than a hundred babies bearing a similar Macintosh logo have been sighted at hospital maternity wards, the majority in Silicon Valley. "It's unclear at this point if Jobs is trying to create a superior race or simply trying to produce out-of-the-womb brand-loyal consumers," said Murray Horowitz, head of the Vassar Institute of Anthropology, Human Heredity, and Eugenics. "We're going to be keeping a close eye on this one."

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

What To Wear: Dos And Don'ts For Apple Store Dating Fashion

Hoping to score a date on your next trip to the Apple Store? It's all in the visuals. Apple Store dating fashion is memorable but not goofy, sensual but not sleazy, trendy but not logo-obsessed.

As a rule, men should opt for traditional Apple garb -- black turtleneck, jeans, and sneakers. A three-day stubble completes the look (hey, if it works for Steve, it can work for you, too). Steve's Outfit is a great one-stop source for purchasing an authentic-looking version of the full ensemble.

Women channeling the style of Audrey Hepburn meets Abercrombie & Fitch can't go wrong. Pressed for time, ladies? Just stuffing an iPod nano into a push-up bikini top also can do wonders for your Apple Store dating success.