Rating The Apple Stores (Part I)

Ever wonder which Apple Stores offer the best prospects for dating? According to our latest reader survey, that all depends on what you’re looking for. Ambience and clientage play a major role, of course, but a few Apple Stores benefit from simple geography.

In our double-blind survey, we asked more than 1000 avid Macintosh users to rate dateability at four major Apple Stores. Here are a few highlights from the results:

University Village (Seattle) Apple Store
The Vibe: Homoerotic
Hottie Index: 6 stars
Closest Source of Alcohol: One floor up
Promxity to Top Modeling Agency: 175.8 miles

Soho (NYC) Apple Store
The Vibe: Uber trendy
Hottie Index: 10 stars
Closest Source of Alcohol: Right next door
Proximity to Top Modeling Agency: 2 blocks

Stonestown (San Francisco) Apple Store
The Vibe: Totally geeky
Hottie Index: Pi(R2+rR+r2)+ h/3
Closest Source of Alcohol: 3 blocks north
Proximity to Top Modeling Agency: 300 miles

Briarwood (Ann Arbor) Apple Store
The Vibe: A bit uptight
Hottie Index: 1 star
Closest Source of Alcohol: 20 miles
Proximity to Top Modeling Agency: 1200 miles

Husband Cheating At Apple Store?

We encourage reader mail, and today would like to share this letter from Concerned In Connecticut:

Dear Kitty:

My husband, a long-time Dell user, lately has been spending most evenings and weekend afternoons at the Apple Store. He has given up golf and let his subscription to Penthouse Letters expire. He says he's just testing the iMacs and the new MacBook Air, but I'm concerned he may be having an affair at the Apple Store. Do you think I should be worried?

Sincerely,
Concerned In Connecticut

Dear Concerned:

It's perfectly normal for Dell users to shop around when their applications get a little sluggish. However, I would definately suspect an extramarital affair if your husband can't get his browser up at home or complains that your screen is always frozen. In these cases, he may indeed be going to the Apple store to get his hard drive spinning.

Cheers,
Kitty Couric

My Wedding At The Apple Store

Will the Apple Store host my wedding reception? Watch our You Tube video to find out..

Apple Computer To Open First Late Night Dance Club

As goes Steve Jobs, so goes Apple. Propelled by Jobs' new-found passion for dancing, Apple Computer reportedly is preparing to open its first after-hours club in downtown Manhattan. "With dating at the Apple Stores on the rise, Jobs wants to give single customers a Mac-friendly environment to dance, swap playlists, and trade iPhone numbers," says a company source. The club, slated to open in May, 2008, will feature a custom-built dance floor, wi-fi lounge, and a fully-stocked Genius Bar. Green apple martini, anyone?

Singles With iPhones More Likely To Wed Than BlackBerry Users, Survey Shows

Wondering if your boyfriend will ever pop the question? Don't get your hopes up if he's a BlackBerry user. According to Internetnews.com's analysis of the just-released M:Metrics January Benchmark Survey, iPhone guys are far more commitment-oriented and likely to wed. Writes Internetnews.com: "It's clear that iPhone owners want...engagement while users of BlackBerry and other smartphones don't share the same interests." Stay tuned for more on this fascinating research next week...

Apple Computer Acquires Match.com

Well, this actually hasn't happened as of today, but you can be sure Steve Jobs is thinking about it. What better way to connect all those single Mac lovers than through a new dating portal called MacMatch.com?

Barry Diller, chairman of Match.com's parent, IAC/InterActiveCorp., couldn't be reached to comment on the hypothetical acquisition, but we're quite sure he'd be willing to sell in a heartbeat.

Clearly I've Been Wasting My Time At The Gym

I guess I've been looking for love in all the wrong places because, according to Cosmo, the Apple Store is new place to see and be seen. According to that steamy bible: "Most guys are natural gadget lovers, and with sales of iPods and MacBooks skyrocketing, more men than ever are stopping by Apple boutiques. The vibe at the stores is conducive to man meeting too: You can check your email among cuties, take a free workshop on anything from Photoshop to podcasting (a great opportunity to strike up a conversation), or just survey the, ahem, good-looking merchandise."

Is Steve Jobs Married?

Actually, Steve Jobs has been married to Laurene Powell since 1991, so there's little chance of finding him at a Genius Bar.

No One Hot At The Genius Bar, But The Salesgirl Was Really Cute

How cute? Well, let's just say I now own an iMac, an iPhone, and a really hip new carrying case for my laptop. Of course, I'm going to wait to open it all in case she turns out to be a bad kisser.